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Mr.Dandy's Dictionary

Everyone has been asking MrDandy how he got so smart.  Since I am MrDandy, I am indeed the most qualified to answer this.  In all honesty, being smart is not the issue.  You need something much more visible, more tangible.  I like to call it appearsmart.   Politicians, celebrities, religious leaders and captains of industry all know about appearsmart.   That's why they are where they are, and you are where you are. 

One sure-fire way to increase your level of appearsmart is to pick up on some of MrDandy's handy over-the-head vocabulary.  These little-known words will perk up any inattentive ears, since people always listen to someone who seems to know more than they do.  Feel free to work these obscure, yet useful bits into an otherwise flat conversation.  Watch as the deaselwits nod their heads, pretending to understand, but having absolutely no idea what you're talking about.  Try them in SAT written exams.  Use them to spice up your favorite pick-up lines.  Carve them into public bathroom stalls and brand-new car doors.  Impress spouses, blood-brothers, supervisors, subordinates, cellmates, in-laws, out-laws, and the relentless press! 

appearsmart- n. see above.

awea-  (a-WAY-ah) adj. residing in a remote location; distant.  "That is an awea place."

bock- (BOK) v. to find; to fetch.  "Bock me a good melon"

buslazz- (BYOO-slazz) v. to bypass rudely or reject; to spurn.  "He could never buslazz a free meal."

clarisable- (Claire-ISS-a-bull) adj. Friendly and inviting; charming.  "She gave him a clarisable smile."

derata- (dur-A-ta) n. Obligatory social chatter; small-talk.  "We made polite derata until the show began."

deaselwit- (DEE-sell-wit) n.  One who neglects intellectual pursuits; an anti-intellectual; a moron. "That deaselwit thinks Gore Vidal is a horror film."

hyfree- (HY-free) n.  A tall fence or barrier; a hurdle or obstacle.  "The only hyfree standing in the way is your fear of soup."

linvellove- (LIN-vel-low-uh) v. To assert inflated pride in one's own abilities, usu. derogatory; to boast.  "He should work more, and linvellove less."

oyoutaid- (OY-oo-tayd) n. An injury, esp. one which is not readily visible;  a pain or ache; an imagined malady.  "The cure for your oyoutaid is a good, strong placebo."

rawse- (ROSS) v. to enthrall; to provide amusement or entertainment, esp. to a crowd.   "She could rawse them for hours with nothing but a sock puppet and a bag of marshmallows."

sadea- (sa-DAY-uh) n. Sex appeal;  "He's got sadea."   adj. Having sex appeal.  "A girl so sadea should never be without a prom date."

skroot- (SKRUTE) n. an abbreviated form of written English, popular in the late 19th century; a note or document written in skroot.  "We read an interesting skroot yesterday."

terser-(TUR-sur). 1. adj. Painfully audible; loud. "Such terser music should be outlawed." 2. n. An embarrassing statement or action, esp. in public. "The restaurant patrons would remember his terser for years."

walsas-(WAL-soss)- adj. 1. Slippery; dangerously slippery. "Be careful on the walsas walkway." 2. adj. charmingly deceitful; slick. "Avoid the card-dealer, he seems walsas."

yoiyuth-(YOY-yooth) n. 1. A food or substance which tastes bad.  "Your mother cooks nothing but yoiyuth."  2. A person without taste or class.  "That yoiyuth should wear less orange."

(c) 1999-2006 James Hakola